Kamis, 02 September 2010

Hera Xiao Miao 苗苗 from Beijing, China - Lenglui #90

Hera 苗苗

Name: Hera Xiao Miao 苗苗 / 何小苗
Date of Birth: Oct 2, 1987
Height: 164 cm
Weight: 44 kg
Blog: http://blog.163.com/conan_tony/
About: Hera Xiao Miao 何小苗 or nicknamed as Hera Miao Miao 苗苗, lives in Beijing's Chaoyang District. Hera graduated from the Beijing Huijia University under the Film and Animation Department. Most of Hera's modeling photo shoots are used for her own online boutique in Taobao (China's eBay). Like me, you must be wondering why she doesn't look like any typical Chinese. Is she mixed? Well, it was rumored that she had undergone some cosmetic surgeries turning her into the "new Hera". I personally don't think the "old Hera" looked that bad.

Old Hera
Only the best of Hera available here, all filtered by http://dailylenglui.blogspot.com.


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form and function

Prepare yourself for a bit of a shock: I am not one of those ladies who gets all excited over shoes. They're just not really my thing in a goo-goo sense. They serve a wonderful function, to be sure; but I tend to look at them as function-servers only, and I wear them until they fall apart...and sometimes longer than that. I mention this not as some weird point of contrarian pride, but rather because I wonder: would my feelings about shoes render me as susceptible to the madness brought on by the red shoes in...umm...The Red Shoes (Korea, 2005)? Would I be all caca-crazy over them like the women in the film are? I guess I might be since they've got the power of the supernatural and not just the power of the pump. Anyway, enough of that conversation with myself.

Oh and by the way, the red shoes are actually pink shoes, which kind of irritated me throughout the whole movie. Perhaps you will not mind. It just seems to me that if your movie is called The Red Shoes and it's based on a fairytale called The Red Shoes, the shoes in question should be red. I would be equally confounded if, say, The Lord of the Rings was actually about One Pair of Pants to Rule Them All, pants sewn in the sweatshop of Mount Doom. It wouldn't make any sense, and nor do the pink "red" shoes.

Sorry...Lord of the Rings is on over in the corner right now and it's distracting me with its so fucking awesomeness. I was thinking about this movie the other day so much so that I had to watch it- I was commenting to a friend that if I had been born a dwarf, I would play up some fantasy shit and I'd insist on traveling in a fellowship and I'd constantly talk about how I was born from the stone and all that- in other words, I would ever irritate the people around me and totally weird them out. The point is, Lord of the fucking Rings, man. 

See? Pink is not red.

A couple of schoolgirl chums find a pain of pink pumps on a subway platform late one night. An easy eeeevil spirit overtakes them and they fight over the shoes. The victor walks away proudly, but little does she know it's the last walking she'll ever do (INSERT EVIL LAUGH)! An unseen force causes a rift in the floor and cuts off the girl's feet. It's awful and gross, but it sure looks cool. 

Sun-jae (Hye-su Kim) is a former optometrist-turned-miserable housewife. Her husband bears her no love or respect, her young daughter Tae-su (Yeon-ah Park) is the ultimate daddy's girl and ignores her. When Sun-jae comes home to find her husband humping on some other lady, she packs up her shoe collection and busts a movie out of there, unwilling child in tow. 

Yes, her shoe collection, which she displays on an elaborate glass shelving unit. You know, like one might display...oh, I don't know. A Lord of the Rings action figure assortment.

Given how nuts she is about shoes, it comes as no surprise when Sun-jae is totally bewitched by a pair of pink pumps she spies in a subway car. She takes them home and for a while, things are on an upswing- she works to restart her career, she begins an affair with the young man designing her new office, she puts on the pink pumps and feels more attractive than she has in ages. Her daughter becomes equally obsessed with the shoes, however, and the two frequently clash over which of them is the rightful owner...sometimes even coming to blows. When Sun-jae's friend steals the shoes after becoming immediately overtaken with a need to have them, things take a turn for the deadly as the unseen force returns and makes with the...deathening.  

Pretty shoes turn little girls into WHORES!

Through a series of fairly cheesy flashbacks, we learn- sort of- the reason why the shoes are cursed. It all has to do with women fighting over men, blah blah, jealousy. You know, essentially that wimmins is crazy bitches...and unfortunately, that's what the main plot of The Red Shoes devolves into as well. A very strong first half, centered around a rather compelling character, becomes a lazy, nonsensical second half; horror-tinged drama becomes nothing but a series of the same old tired tropes you've seen in plenty of other Asian genre flicks. It's really too bad- the film gets more disappointing as it loses steam over the course of its run time.

Still, it's not without some bright spots and high points- the cinematography is gorgeous, the set design interesting, and the acting is very strong- particularly that from Hye-su Kim, who has to convey a wide range of emotions as she takes the train from Sadsville to Cuckootown. 

All in all, the film isn't going to have anyone squealing in delight and placing a copy on their elaborate glass shelving unit, but it serves its function fairly well- sort of like my taped-up Converse.

it's time to choose!

And choose the next Film Club choice I shall!

Now, I am not too proud to admit that Hellbound was a bit of a disappointment. It has to do with hard math, like, the ratio of Jackson and tomfoolery to roundhouse kicks and lasers. To make it up to you and my brain (which still smarts over the whole thing), this month's selection is all "classic" and "artistic" and "rated 8.0 on imdb in case you think that means anything"...that's right, it can only be one movie: Kaneto Shindo's Onibaba (1964). Here's the Netflix summary, where it happens to be on instant watch:
During the great war-torn upheaval in medieval Japan, a poverty-stricken mother and her daughter-in-law scratch out a desperate existence by murdering lost samurai, disposing of their bodies and selling their belongings for grain. But when a neighbor returns from the war, lust, jealousy and rage threaten to drive a wedge between the mother and daughter-in-law. It isn't long before the presence of an ominous demon mask seals the trio's fate.
That's right. We're classin' up the joint this go-round!

The film: Onibaba
The due date: Monday, October 4
What you do:
  1. Review the movie on your site. Add a link to Final Girl in there somewhere. If you've reviewed the film before, that's fine- but you must retrofit your review with a link to FG to be included in my round-up.
  2. Email your link to me at stacieponder at gmail dot com. Put 'film club' or some such in the subject line.
  3. Bask in the warm, glowing, warming glow of Film Club Day. Easy, breezy, et cetera et cetera.

Rabu, 01 September 2010

WARNING: talk of me ahead

LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK.

Theron Neel of Slammed & Damned asked me some questions recently. Even more recently, I answered them. Lawd a-mighty, I do yammer. It was one of those instances where I had to tell myself to shut up, basically, before I went off the rails. "Ecch", as Alfred E. Neuman might say.

The Boston Phoenix has a wee write-up regarding All Things Horror's screening at the Somerville Theater. This happens TONIGHT, so put on yer movie-watching pants and get over there. You won't regret it! Side Effect is worth the five dollar admission alone, but in addition to that you get two more short films (Rubber Whore Hell; Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear) and a feature (Dead Hooker in a Trunk). Man, you can barely buy a pizza for five bucks. That's some good bargainin'!

Also tonight: The Scare-ening. 8pm PDT. I don't know what Heidi and I will be talking about, but surely we'll be talking about something...so if you fear there will be naught but an hour of silence, don't worry!

Phew. Okay, I think that's all the me news for now.

Wait! More me news: I wish this was me. Seriously, I need to get some Glamour Shots done before I die.

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