some things

Hey guys, are you ready to hear about some things? Some things, yeah! Woo! Get ready, 'cause here are some things:

• I've been doing some writing in other places. I figured it's time to resurrect and once again sporadically update over at my video game blog, Jill Sandwich. If you like games, check it out! If you don't like games, what the heck is your problem, they're great! Also, last week I started a new blog/project thing that I'm super duper wicked excited about: Dallas Reviewed, in which I'll be reviewing every episode of Dallas in chronological order. If you've been reading Final Girl for more than two minutes, then you know how much I loves me some Dallas. It's a ton of fun to write, so check that out if you're so inclined. It updates on Fridays.
• I've been doing some art in other places. Once upon a long ago time, I did some stick figure illustrations of the death scenes of some Friday the 13th movies. Well, I've grabbed a hold of that idea again and I'm rebooting/revamping/rewhatevering it, in color even. I made a new tumblr for it and everything; Friday the 13th: Death Count updates just about every day, so yes...there's another thing to check out if you so desire.

• My webcomic, RPG, has at long last started up again, huzzah! For the foreseeable future, it will update on Mondays.
• Apparently that Michael Bay/Platinum Dunes-produced remake of The Birds is on again. You remember it, don't you? We clutched our collective pearls about it seven years ago. As it never came to be, I assumed that after all my trying, I'd finally wished something away to the cornfield. But noooo! It's back! I've mellowed much on the notion of remakes over the last seven years- if I don't want to see something, I just...you know...don't- but still, I feel the allure of outrage tugging where my heartstrings should be. It's the kind of project that should be put down before a single dime is spent on it. It's one of those, uh, whaddayou call 'em...an abomination! Yeah, that's it. Fart on you, Michael Bay/Platinum Dunes-produced remake of The Birds.
• In Movies That Shouldn't Be Farted On news, I partook in a delicious double feature last night: Hard Candy and Brian De Palma's Passion. The former is a fantastic character piece, all tense and claustrophobic. Has Ellen Page ever been better than as Hard Candy's Hayley? I say to you no, no she has not. It is an uncomfortable delight for sure. 

As for Passion, well, my goodness. It was an indulgent hot mess, I loved every minute of it, and I cannot wait to watch it again.

By: Unknown On 12.11

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I liked horror BEFORE it was mainstream

Sorry, it's just that I so rarely get a chance to be a hipster.

Anyhamburgerphone, Kirk Hamilton wrote a piece for Kotaku about horror, its relationship to the mainstream, and the diminishing returns of sequels in the world of movies and video games. He kindly asked for my opinion on these topics, and like a proper old person, I went on and on and on way more than I should have. He wanted a sentence, and I gave him a filibuster...so there's lots of our little conversation that didn't make the final piece. SHOCKING!

In the interests of history and science, I figured I'd post up all of my yammering here because if there's one thing I can do at Final Girl, it's yammer freely forever! Oh lawd, bless this l'il Internet. Read Kirk's piece first, yeah? And then continue below.


Kirk: I feel like commonly, when a horror film (or game) finds success, its sequels aren't as scary. They may still be as good, but they're not as scary. Do you think that's the case?

Me: For my money, Silent Hill 2 is far scarier than the first game, but other than that I tend to agree with you with regard to sequels. It's most obvious, for example, in the Silent Hill series and the Resident Evil series- why are the earlier games so much more frightening than the later ones? I think it's a pretty easy answer: they lack the atmosphere they used to have. It's most obvious with Resident Evil, which moves further and further away from its horror roots with each new installment, but it's true for Silent Hill as well. Early games relied on shadows and darkness and sound- sound is PARAMOUNT in a horror game- to create an oppressive feeling of dread. What's that shape lurking down the hall? What's scratching on the other side of this door? For the love of pizza, what is making that NOISE? The games simply give you the creeps. Jump scares are fine and good, but they flare out quickly and they don't stay under your skin.

The difference between shock and suspense is illustrated as you play Dead Space- early on, as Isaac is slowly walking the abandoned corridors of the Ishimura, you hear sounds from all over: footsteps, maybe, or a piece of metal clanging in the distance. Your stomach tightens because you don't know what to expect, and you're scared. Four hours later, you know a necromorph is going to pop out of every dark corner and while your heart rate increases for a moment...eh, it's not going to give you nightmares. I think any sequel CAN be as scary as an original work if the creators can find new ways to utilize the ESSENCE of horror, which is what makes the originals work.

Why does that happen? Is there something about horror that's fundamentally not mainstream-friendly?

When it comes to films in the genre, I agree with you- mainstream tends to miss the mark. I think that by and large, this simply has to do with money. Every big budget has a fleet of executives behind it looking to earn back that money and then some; they've all got a vested interest in the property and a say in what ends up on the screen. It becomes filmmaking by committee and it shows. Some of the greatest horror films of all time- The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Night of the Living Dead, and so on- were made on shoestring budgets and were therefore solely the vision of the writers and directors.

If you want to earn more money in theaters, your film needs to appeal to a wider audience...which means, say, toning down gore or extreme content to secure a PG-13 rating. Of course, "scary" is totally subjective and the MPAA rating doesn't necessarily dictate whether or not a film will be successful, but it does signify "mainstream" and it's going to put off many horror fans.

Do you think there's something about horror and fear itself that doesn't work with mainstream PR--the kinda porny nature of it, the way that it taps into such innate human darkness--like, can something like that ever truly be mainstream? We never see widely publicized release for a hardcore horror film. At best we get a "Scream" or a "Drag me to Hell." (Fine movies, but they aren't "Dead Alive," you know?) Why do you think that is?

John Carpenter once said that horror is viewed maybe a notch or two above pornography by the masses, and I don't think that consensus has changed much since he made Halloween. As a horror fan- and, let's face it, particularly as a female horror fan- I find myself defending the genre and/or myself pretty frequently. Assuring people that while I dig scary movies, I'm not a psychopath, a sociopath, or a degenerate. I don't watch horror movies because I dearly love watching women get butchered. I've answered "Why do you/how can you watch that stuff?" more times than I can count, and believe me, I can count PRETTY HIGH.

Sure, horror taps into human darkness, as you said, but...I don't know, people who DON'T watch horror movies tend to think that quality means that horror movies are ONLY endlessly violent and brutal and ONLY completely pointless and dumb. The genre has much more to offer than simply "dead teenager" flicks- although I'm not going to say I don't love those, too. I just think horror got slapped early on with the "low-rent" label and it's never going to shake it.

Horror will never thrive in the mainstream simply because the mainstream doesn't want it...and that's fine, I get it. Not everyone finds tapping into the dark side of life "entertaining"- they'd rather watch a movie about baby penguins doing their thing, you know?

By: Unknown On 06.21

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It's that time!

What time? The time I say...

Final Girl is on hiatus.

WHAT.

Yes, friends, it must happen. I have a shit ton of work to do in the world of comics, and I can just feel Final Girl sitting here sad and lonely like a cyber Carrie White. I mean, if I'm going to not post and not say anything about it, why don't I just take it a step further and throw tampons at my computer monitor, right? I mean.

Okay, it wouldn't make sense for me to do that in any capacity, but you know what I'm saying. If you can handle the truth, let me tell it to you now- I think I've only watched three movies in the past four months. For serious! Part of that is because I don't have a couch, and I'm sorry...you need a couch for a good movie-watching experience. Or I do, anyway. Call me a baby!

I will still post from time to time, but I felt I needed to make some sort of statement as regular posting won't happen for some time. I'm still down with horror: Slashers 101 is still available, and I'm working on the next installment in the 101 series (YES A SERIES SAY WHAT). If you want some original art made just for you, hit me up at stacieponder at gmail dot com and tell me all about it. Facebook is a pretty good place to find me also.

I'm doing a signing for Womanthology at Casablanca Comics in Portland, ME on Saturday the 24th at 2pm, and one at Hub Comics in Somerville, MA on Saturday the 31st from 12-4. I'll also be at Boston Comic-Con (April 21-22)...not sure on my table time yet, but I'll be on the Womanthology panel, whenever that is. You can come and say hi if you want! I am a solid 26% less interesting in person, but it's balanced by the fact that I'm 38% more awkward.

So yes, that is that. This is better, I think. Now when I post, we'll all be "Oh, how special! Posting during hiatus!" rather than "IT'S ABOUT TIME WHY YOU NEVER POST", right?

Oh Charles Nelson Reilly, you is a cold hearted snake!

By: Unknown On 09.37

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Poor Annie

Do you remember a million years ago when I wrote a piece about Friday the 13th's unfortunate hitchhiker, Annie? This piece? Piece? No? I didn't think so. Well, read it! And then read this piece about Annie over at the Rue Morgue blog! It's by Annie aficionado Nicholas Kaufmann, and it features some words by yours truly (that's me). PIECE!

mere moments before her death, Annie celebrates feeling zestfully clean

By: Unknown On 14.13

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jawin'

So pal-o-Final Girl Richard Harland Smith has seen fit to interview me for TCM's Movie Morlocks. It was super fun. Good stuff. A good interview, if you will. Good and so crammed with words that one post was not enough to hold it- it has been unleashed in two parts, and they are both waiting for your eyes to join them. Hooray for everything!

• part one
• part two

Oh, and I should mention here that what! Final Girl has been nominated for BEST BLOG in the 10th annual Rondo Hatton Awards. Here is the ballot- she's an unwieldy thing, but BEST BLOG is category 18, and you'll see that I'm in some superlative company. I'm psyched to be nominated, 'tis indeed an honor most...honorful.

Before I lose that lovin' feelin'...look at this! I want to lie down in a room full of these forever.

By: Unknown On 07.24

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I got one of these

By "these" I mean "a Tumblr page. I won't be doing any writing over there or anything...well, actually worthwhile, most likely. There's something about the platform I generally find aesthetically pleasing- the simplicity, maybe? I like that a page can be nothing more than pretty pictures. I like the immediacy of it; Camp Final Girl will be the place where I'll put up a still from a movie I'm thinking about just because. I'll probably post stuff that's not horror-related as well. There's even a link at the top of the page- a link you can CLICK- that allows people to ask questions or what have you. And as nerdy as it is, I really dig the theme for my page because I have a big metaphorical boner for Field Notes, even if they're overpriced and hipster. So anyway, check out mah Tumblr if you want to. Don't worry...FG is still number one in my coal-black heart!

By: Unknown On 10.13

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it's WEDNESDAY!

Now, before you get all excited because of those capital letters- which would seem to indicate something special about Wednesday- please note that there's really nothing to get excited about today beyond the fact that it's Chuck Woolery's birthday.

Sorry I've been an absentee mom recently...there just hasn't been much horror in my life lately. Well, except for my hair, which is neither bouncin' nor behavin'. (rimshot) Anyway, I know you'd like to think that while I'm not here typing away furiously, I'm simply staring off into space and withering away, like Christopher Reeve at the end of Somewhere in Time. I'm sorry to say this is only mostly the case, for sometimes I do do things. Observe!

- I have been playing Dragon Age II like nobody's business! That's right, nobody's business...and yet I decided to write about it anyway over at Jill Sandwich, thereby making it everybody's business.

WHAT.

- If you are in Canada (yes, any part of Canada), then you can see Ludlow on the big screen this Friday night! It's showing as part of the Female Eye Film Festival in Toronto, and it's also been nominated in the Best Debut Feature and Best Experimental categories. I couldn't be more thrilled. What an honor! Go check it out if you can...and if you're feeling particularly bold, please consider clicking "like" on Ludlow's Facebook page. I realize that I very rarely click like on anything on Facebook, so if you're thinking that this is a time for cyber retribution, I understand. It saddens me, however, that there are, like pages on Facebook for pickles and said pickles received more interest than my film.

Mind you, I do realize that some pickles are really fucking cool. Like this one, that yodels.


- This woman be making comics. Like, a real ongoing, epic thing. It's called RPG and as you can safely assume from that title, it's all fantasy nerdery with, like, swords and monsters and quests and shit. It's still a newborn, but it updates on Mondays and Wednesdays, and you can check it out at www.rpgcomic.com.


- Next week I'm seeing Scream 4, and I will faithfully report on it when the PR people tell me I can. By the way, I refuse to call it Scre4m, except for when I did it right there when pointing out that I won't do it.

- I fear that Cathy's Curse is taking on Rumplestiltskin-sized & -shaped real estate in my brain. That is to say, it's terrible, but I find the words "It's the best thing ever!" coming out of my mouth and I desperately want to watch it and I kind of can't stop thinking about it. Oh, such powers Cathy wields!


Now if you'll excuse me, I have some walls that need some starin' thrown their way.

By: Unknown On 10.36

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24 grate songs

I'd explain the post title, but it's a long story. Okay: when I was a wee-ish bonnie lass, someone gave a friend of mine a mix tape labeled "24 grate songs".

Wow, I guess that story wasn't long at all. Anyway, the point is:

From March 27 - April 2, Film Clubber and super guy Bryce Wilson is running Raimifest at his site, Things That Don't Suck. A week in the horr-o-blog-o-phere-o? Yes, please. I have no idea what I'll do, but I'mma do sumpin'!

I frickin' love Drag Me to Hell.

Speaking of the Final Girl Film Club, Monday is the day! No wait, Tuesday is the day. So, watch Frozen, write something up, and email your link to me. Film Club Day is the one day a month where the whole entire Internet (meaning: five people) comes together in harmonious harmony. Don't miss out on the glory!

In an effort to "get the word out" to people who have probably already heard the damn word 20,000 times, I created a Faceplace page for Ludlow. If you are on the Faceplace and you "like" the page, it will become your friend and you will be updated with all sorts of fascinating Ludlow information, like when there's a release date for the forthcoming Ludlow action figure line. Get in the know! Like the page!


I had the distinct honor of being interviewed by Michael Varrati for Peaches Christ's website. If you want to read it and you have eyes, then click here to do it!

By: Unknown On 11.10

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He just wanted to hang out.

Jaws commission, 5" x 7" marker on Bristol board

By: Unknown On 18.15

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get the eff outta here, 2010!

That's right, I said get outta here! I'm tired a lookin' at yer ugly mug and I'm ready for some 2011 action. You're old news, baby! Yesterday's garbage! Tomorrow's nothing! I tells ya, I oughta take a lighter and-- what's that, 2010? You're not ready to go yet? Well, listen sister- you're gonna have to before I tear you a new-- wait, are crying? Are you seriously crying, 2010? Wow. Look, maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on you, but you have to admit...at this point, you're pretty used up and I ain't got time to wallow in...oh, fine. Yes. I'll do it.

Y'all, let's give 2010 one last blast of glory, shall we? I haven't done a year-end spectacular since two thousand fucking seven, so...don't tell 2010 this (I don't want her head to get big), but I was planning to do one anyway. After all, the end of the year is the time bloggers look back and then tell everyone how great that year was (this was my most jam-packed year yet, and I'm sure every single post was of the utmost quality), and no one really cares except the blogger. It's like looking into a living cybermirror for me, and that's all that matters!

I don't know what that means, but let's go with it. Let's go with it RIGHT NOW! Please note, the quotes and pictures aren't necessarily related- I just chose quotes and pictures I like. There, that should save you a ha'second of "Huh?"

Is "ha'second" a word? It should be.

The Final Girl Year-End Wrap Up Extravatonydanza

JANUARY

"...look, I'm desperate for excuses to post pictures of the Sagal twins around here, so I'll take what I can get."

The 23:45 project was still going strong- looking back at some of them, I want to pick it up again. It's...you know. Neat. I busted out a My Faves of the Decade and realized that horror in recent times hasn't been as terrible as I was thinking. I launched Operation: 101010, which...well, OKAY. It's a failure. I'm a failure! I thought watching 100 movies in the course of a year would be easy, breezy, and beautiful, but apparently I found it to be anything but. I'll do a wrap-up of it soon, but the short of it is: fa. Ailure. Another failure: that meme in which I was supposed to reveal interesting facts about myself. I revealed the facts, yes, but none were interesting. Reviews in January included Pandorum, Daybreakers (I forgot I saw that!), Jennifer's Body (which I am shocked to find myself often defending), and the rad Film Club selection, Black Sabbath.

FEBRUARY

"For fuck's sake, this movie has blood and naked lesbian ghosts and it still isn't any fun."

Oh, February...you little shortie, you. Despite your status as the shortest month, I sure crammed a lot in ya.

Yes, that's a free "that's what she said" joke for you. Dazzle your friends!

I wished George Romero a happy birthday by making some mock Criterion edition covers of his original zombie trilogy. I'm sure he was touched! I started a few ongoing features that I seem to have forgotten about but I should really resurrect: Friday the 13th Victim of the Week and The Bloggenaires. I apologize to all the Bloggenaires who have filled out their Bloggenaire and are waiting for their Bloggenaire in the Bloggenaire moment in the cybersun. I have no excuse except that I forget everything except the lyrics to the theme from The Facts of Life. Reviews in The Littlest Month included the chug-a-riffic Horror Express, the confounding Witches' Mountain, The Crazies (in which I gave a glimpse into the lengths PR companies go to to dazzle reviewers), and Return of the Living Dead Part II. Meanwhile, Wicked Lake, The Unborn and Return to House on Haunted Hill angried up my blood but good.

Oh, and I still have this painting sitting here! You should buy it.

MARCH

"LOCUSTS TERRORIZE SOUNDSTAGE VILLAGE, NEWS AT ELEVEN"

There was a truly Earth-shattering, groundbreaking. face-rocking-offing event in March: The Scare-ening was born! That's right. Heidi Martinuzzi of FanGirlTastic and I launched our internet radio show/podcast thing to the praise and delight of ourselves, and let's face it: there was life before The Scare-ening, and there's life after The Scare-ening. It changes you.

Okay, that's not really true, but it's fun...for us, anyway. We recently relaunched after a hiatus, and the show is just as pointless as ever. Tune in this Wednesday for our 28th episode! Woo!

Some of the movies reviewed: Cloverfield (meh), Exorcist II: The Heretic (there are no words), Uzumaki (Film Club pick!), Dead Space: Downfall (animated sequel + game coming next month, YEAH!), Vampyres (jonesing to watch it again), Halloween II (FFS, I don't want to think about it EVER), Track of the Moon Beast (a comic review!), and Vinyan (I don't care, I liked it).

I talked about some of the crap I own that I love. Kathryn Bigelow won an Oscar for Best Director. Not bad, March...not bad.

APRIL

Oh no. I'm only 1/3 of the way through the year...not even...and I'm already bored by all this self-indulgence.

The Film Club fucking loved Spider Baby. For some reason I liked The Birds II: Land's End. For some reason I did not like Phantasm IV: Oblivion. The Vampire Lovers...aww, Ingrid Pitt. I love a good reveal, which is probably why I posted about some of my favorites. How weird!

April was kind of dull, so it should come as no shock that reminiscing about it is dull, too. Look, they can't all be gems!

MAY

"Like herpes, Birdemic is best when it's shared."

Oooh, my blood got all a-boil over pushy indie filmmakers. Then I turned around and became a pushy indie filmmaker myself when Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear went on sale! Okay, that's not true. I mean about the pushy part. There are ways to do things, I think...how to get the word out about yourself and your work without being completely obnoxious about it. I may not always succeed at not being obnoxious, but I do try my darndest. But if I don't tell you about whatever I've got going on here at Final Girl, then how am I supposed to do it? I mean, this is my house. I don't mean that literally.

Or do I?

Anyway, I watched and reviewed a bunch of stuff in May, from The Human Centipede to Life Blood. I watched/reviewed The Descent 2 and talked to Shauna MacDonald about it. to Heather Langenkamp was a guest on The Scare-ening. I paid tribute to Banana Girl and Christopher Lee turned eight effing eight. Film Club went into The Beyond. May was so boss!

JUNE

"At this point, I would like to take a time out to mention that nothing that weighs 11 pounds should ever come out of a vagina, ever. EVER."

Splice and I just did not get along, and I'd rather forget that I spent any time at all with Survival of the Dead. I hated Ghost Game, too, but at least "reviewing" it gave me the opportunity to draw some pictures...and then there was the worst lesbian vampire movie in the history of ever. Sweet Jebus, what a bad streak. Thankfully, [REC] 2 was there to lift my spirits out of a crappy movie-inspired June gloom. The Film Club found out that It's Alive Hey look at the purdy: my favorite posters from the AMPF archive. Oh, and I documented what we already knew: that there are lots of horror movie characters who are way cooler than me.

JULY

"The football-with-a-sword attached is really an inefficient weapon. You have to build the thing, then figure out a way to carry it around without anyone noticing, and then you have to find someone stupid enough to catch it."

Over at The Horror Digest, André asked about everyone's willies and so I complied by talking about mine. I mean...a list of horror movie moments that give me the willies, not...oh, YOU KNOW. The Viscera Film Festival happened here in Los Angeles, and that was cool. Heidi and I welcomed Viscera founder Shannon Lark to The Scare-ening, so if you want to hear all about it, then go hear all about it. An extra-large Film Club visited The House of the Devil. Other than that...hmm. I guess it was too hot to watch movies that month!

AUGUST

"The only question that remains is, why doesn't this tape live in my pants?"

I made up for July's scant movie viewing by gettin' it on with my TV during August. I finally saw Silent Scream after years of anticipation, and...you'll have to read the review to find out if it was worth the wait. Or you'll have to remember the review if you already read it. At any rate, you'll have to do something if you want to know. I gave little bite-sized reviews for Grapes of Death, Rattlers, and Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge...and I couldn't even do that much for A Feast of Flesh. There was also Cthulhu, Zeder, Dracula's Daughter, an anthology of Asian-flavored ghost stories, Messiah of motherfucking Evil, and an ill-advised trip bound for Hell with Hellbound. Oh, and I made an Exorcism Movies Flowchart. Dayum, August was all over-achievery!

SEPTEMBER

"I think she really won my heart when she called her son a 'big dildo'."

I indulged my love of gross possession faces with the Italian Exorcist rip-off Beyond the Door. I proved yet again that I can never get enough Creepshow. I discovered that The Red Shoes are actually pink shoes. I launched Take Back the Knife over at AfterEllen (man, writing about horror for a largely non-horror crowd is weird, my friends!). Together, we celebrated the National Treasure known as Ethel Hubbard. Awesome Movie Poster Friday reached a milestone, and I reached new found heights of WTFness with my trailer for In Satan's Closet.

September was a big beefy mix (whatever that means) of delights, but we all know the truth- it was just a warm up for...

OCTOBER SHOCKTOBER
"I am a moron."

Man, SHOCKtober really brought the cray cray, didn't it? Yes...yes, it did. I know it all seems like a dream at this point, but let's hold hands and remember together: I asked readers to submit lists of their 20 favorite horror films- not the "best", but each person's favorites- and I tallied numbers and compiled a master list. In the end, the master list featured over 700 titles. See? Cray cray! Here's the intro to SHOCKtober, which delves a bit more into the genesis of the project, although it's not much more exciting than what I've written here...I may swear more in that post, however.

Then began a long month of counting down your favorites- all the way from #732 (Dust Devil) to #1 (Halloween). Along the way, we got some special guest Top 20(ish) lists from the likes of Kim Morgan, Lena Headey, Zane & Brea Grant, Richard Harland Smith, Buzz from CampBlood, Amanda by Night, and more. I even gave a couple of Top 20 lists myself. All in all, I'd say it was a successful experiment that leaves but one question: what the fuck am I going to do next year?

Still, the month wasn't completely consumed by THE LIST. The Film Club got all classy with Onibaba, and I wrote about Halloween (the day, not the movie). Okay, so SHOCKtober was 99.7% consumed by THE LIST. Don't act like you didn't love it!

NOVEMBER

"Okay, I admit it. I've got full-blown slasher fever! It's not as exotic and mysterious as dengue fever, nor as quaint as typhoid fever, nor as controversial as jungle fever, nor as irritating as Pac-Man fever, nor as tasty as the fever for the flavor of a Pringles, but I assure you: it's just as real."

As the month kicked off, I just couldn't let go of SHOCKtober..and thus, a post-game show with number-crunching and other useless info.

Right after that, I launched a website and fundraising page for what I hope to be my next major film, Diet! Diet! My Darling!- a feature-length slasher flick made with fashion dolls. At this point, it looks like I'm not going to reach my fundraising goal- I just can't fucking hound people day after day with "please donate!" messages, but I suppose that's what you have to do, isn't it? Otherwise people forget or never find out about the project to begin with. But it's so annoying!

Anyway, no matter. I'll try again after this campaign ends; it's a pretty humble budget, I have to say, and I'll get there. If you feel like learning a bit about slasher flicks, well, head over to Diet!'s website- I wrote up a Slashers 101 for people who are unfamiliar with the subgenre....you know, the plebes.

Over at Take Back the Knife, I took a long look at the homophobia (or lack thereof, or some combination of the two) of High Tension. A bursting-at-the-seams Film Club took a field trip to The Funhouse and took a paddle to The Initiation of Sarah. Many movies I watched in November left me feeling uninspired, so I began writing shorter and shorter reviews. I mean, Growth...who cares, right? Still, I wrote a tiny review of In My Skin and that, I effing loved. How odd of me.

DECEMBER

"MOTHER JEFFERSON."

Geez, no wonder I've been feeling uninspired. The Canyon totally blew. And Soon the Darkness was only okay. The Film Club pick Sugar Hill was fun but I'm not, like, making out with it or anything. Me + horror movies really need to rekindle our shit, you know?

In the meantime, I've been writing about video games over at the brand new Jill Sandwich. Check it out sometime, why don't cha? HMM? Also, The Scare-ening made a triumphant return from its hiatus. OH YEAH, and I started selling copies of Ludlow, which is FINALLY DONE. I expect a big box of DVDs this week, and then I will start mailing them to homes and places of businesses. If you want to hop on that train, click here and do it.

Let's see, what else happened in December? Oh yeah, I started writing this post. Neat!

If you made it to the end of this chunk of self-indulgence, let me say: thanks for reading Final Girl. This look back over the year has proved...well, I guess it hasn't really proved much of anything except that 2010 is just about over- but then, you probably knew that.

Say, did you learn anything from this 2010 Final Girl retrospective, Charles Nelson Reilly?

You got that right! Happy New Year, everyone!

By: Unknown On 13.13

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Huh. Weird.

So, you know how I do this weekly cartoon called Toosday Toons for AfterEllen, yeah? No? Well, I do. There's a link to the TT archive in the sidebar over yonder, but maybe you never look over there. That's okay. I wouldn't, either.

Anyway, this week's Toon is all about Murder, She Wrote (that's right, my topics be timely!)...and while you may be all "Yeah? So?" with regards to that information (understandable, as this is a horror blog and all), I thought it might be worth mentioning. Why? HOLD ON AND I'LL TELL YOU.

Whilst drawing the day away, I couldn't help but shake a funny feeling every time my stick figure Jessica Fletcher appeared in a panel. I don't mean the funny feeling in my pants- that was expected. No, what I mean is the funny feeling that she bore a striking resemblance to someone with whom the horror crowd is undoubtedly familiar. Behold! Jessica Fletcher...

...with the addition of a simple prop, becomes...

Mrs. Voorhees!

Perhaps this is not noteworthy at all and it's just a demonstration of my poor drawing abilities. That's fine. However, it does create wonderful scenarios to imagine, such as Mrs. Voorhees riding a bike around Maine and solving mysteries, or Jessica Fletcher hacking up horny teens with an axe.Hooray!

By: Unknown On 10.17

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To be honest, I had the lights on...

...whilst I was guesting on Conversations in the Dark with The Vault of Horror's B-Sol. I hope that doesn't put you off giving it a listen- I simply don't want to "front" with you, you know?

Anyway, Brian and I talked about preeeeeetty much anything that popped into our heads, although I supposed the original intent was to discuss SHOCKtober and its ramifications. All I really remember is that by the end of the discussion, I'd officially crossed into YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN-land. Good times!

Thanks to Vaultmaster Brian for having me on the show. Check it out so he knows it was worth his time!

By: Unknown On 11.14

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Feel like clicking links...

...doo, do do dooo, do do dooo, feel like clicking links...doo, do do dooo, do do dooo, feel like click-ing links to stuff!

Why, if you find yourself singing the song above, then friends, I'm here to help! You can click this link right here and it will totally take you to stuff- specifically, my newest edition of Take Back the Knife, wherein I talk about Alexandre Aja's High Tension in an "Is it homophobic or isn't it?" fashion. WOW!

By: Unknown On 15.24

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Gallery o' Slasher Movie Title Screens, Part One!

Okay, I admit it. I've got full-blown slasher fever! It's not as exotic and mysterious as dengue fever, nor as quaint as typhoid fever, nor as controversial as jungle fever, nor as irritating as Pac-Man fever, nor as tasty as the fever for the flavor of a Pringles, but I assure you: it's just as real. I can't help it! Between all the slasher talk during SHOCKtober, Diet! Diet! My Darling! entering pre-production, talkin' 'bout the genre with The Vault of Horror's B-Sol (for a forthcoming episode of his series Conversations in the Dark), watching The Funhouse for Film Club, and discussing why I love them so much on that radio show I did, slashers are totally ruling my life right now. It's awesome!

Today I choose to fan the flames of my heart a bit by posting this totally pointless gallery of slasher movie title screens. This is just part one, though, so don't think it the end of my foolery.

The screen for The House on Sorority makes it look like a Lifetime movie. This is not an insult.

By: Unknown On 13.18

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