Juli 2013 ~ HOT MANIAX

Selasa, 30 Juli 2013

Film Club: Children of the Corn (2009)

Brothers, sisters, fellow behind-the-rows-walkers, I am so pleased to have experienced The Corn-ening 2: The Re-Corn-ening with you all. For while you were all incredibly supportive throughout that long and mildly traumatic day, there really is nothing quite like joining hands and jumping into that giant cornhole together. And...

By: Unknown On 11.54

Jumat, 26 Juli 2013

Hello, this is Murder calling

One of my favorite activities is boring A Young Person to the brink of collapse with a litany of things that used to be better and/or things they've missed out on simply because they weren't around to experience them. Sure, sometimes I'll pause in my droning and think, "Have...

By: Unknown On 05.09

Selasa, 16 Juli 2013

the Vatican did not endorse this review

When it comes to watching horror movies, I often feel as if the world is Crazy Ralph and I am but a horny teen hellbent on a debauched weekend in the woods. You know what I mean. I mention a movie and the next thing I know I've got...

By: Unknown On 16.36

The Revenge of the Final Girl Film Club

My my my, guess what! I'm choosing a Film Club Choice. Can you believe it has been almost a year since the Film Club Coolies have gotten their cool on with the last pick, Deadly Blessings? Time sure flies when there's no Film Club.Well, prepare for time to grind...

By: Unknown On 10.51

Senin, 15 Juli 2013

Outlander, take back your Corn-ening!

Well dudes and y'all, it's over. Can you believe it? A mere 17 hours or so ago, The Corn-ening lay before us all like a field about to sprout. Now it lies behind us like a field that is...dead, I guess. I don't know. Look, I'm pretty numb. And...

By: Unknown On 21.24

Children of the Corn: Genesis

What the hell was that?Man oh man, Children of the Corn: Genesis (2011) felt longer than the previous seven films in the series combined. The thing is, though, I was actually with it until the last ten minutes or so, which is actually when stuff, like, happens. Yeah, this...

By: Unknown On 21.02

Children of the Corn: Revelation

Guys, guess how this one ends.WITH AN EXPLOSION! Truth. It can't be a coincidence, can it? The fiery, explosive climax has to be a leitmotif, right? It has to be. And hey, should you have a fiery, explosive climax, be sure to consult your doctor. Ha ha haaaaaa! Get...

By: Unknown On 19.16

Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return

SPOILER ALERT: Isaac totally returns in this one! Oh wait, that's in the title. Well...it's true. Isaac returns to wreak some Behind the Rows havoc and no, that is not a euphemism.But how does Isaac return? Wasn't he killed way back when in the original Children of the Corn...?...

By: Unknown On 17.01

Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror

In case you were wondering how things were to begin anew in Corntopia, that picture above demonstrates the hows and whatfors of it: a fire in a cornfield blasts out green sparkling flames into a child, DUH. How did you expect the story to resurrect itself from behind the...

By: Unknown On 14.51

Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering

Now, I've seen Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996) before. Heck, I even gave it a positive review right here on this very site! As I popped in the DVD, though, I kept feeling fascination trepidation: I haven't seen it since I reviewed it in 2007, and...

By: Unknown On 12.54

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest

What in the Orville Redenbacher hell did I just watch?For serious, y'all, I had no idea that Children of the Corn II and III are so damn awesome. I thought the second film was off the rails, but for fuck's sake Part III (1995) gets so far off the...

By: Unknown On 11.06

Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice

Can you believe that the world had to wait until 1992 for a CotC sequel? Sure, eight years is an awfully long time, but let's face it: finery such as this needs to gestate. You can't rush a masterpiece, amirite? I am.I know what you're thinking: sure, masterpieces can't...

By: Unknown On 08.24

Children of the Corn

Is it just me, or was Children of the Corn a veritable classic back in the 80s? I mean, it was the thing to see for a good long while, at least among the young folk. Killer kids movies were few and far between during that time: Village of...

By: Unknown On 06.11

Outlander, we have your Corn-ening!

It's true, you guys, it's here and it's TIME for The Corn-ening! I'll be starting the original Children of the Corn (1984) in about...oh, 15 minutes and it's all downhill from there. After each film I'll writeup a little...uh, writeup- so be sure to check back throughout the day...

By: Unknown On 04.08

Jumat, 12 Juli 2013

awesome movie poster friday - The CORN-ENING edition!

Hello friends, it's sure been a while since a Friday 'round these parts has been an awesome movie poster one, hasn't it? Well, pull up your pants and hold on to your hats because that's gonna change right now. And so begins...Pro Tip: Use more image search terms than...

By: Unknown On 06.02

Selasa, 09 Juli 2013

Catfished

Take a look at this DVD cover.Do you have any idea how excited I was when I found this? You you you oughta know...by now that I love possession movies, no matter how bad they are, so any take on The Exorcist is going to tickle me pea soup...

By: Unknown On 11.33

Senin, 08 Juli 2013

I Heart: The Amityville Horror

I came across a copy of John G. Jones's The Amityville Horror II in a bookstore the other day and I got excited in that bug-eyed, hand-clapping simpleton way I have. Somehow this book had escaped my notice for decades despite the fact that I consider myself to be...

By: Unknown On 14.59

Selasa, 02 Juli 2013

Learning to Let Go

Hey, Silent Hill, come on in. Have a seat. Can I get you anything? I have...well, I have water. Wow, I really need to go shopping, ha ha! Oh wait, I have tea. You want some tea? I can make some coffee. Just let me know.Anyway, yeah, why I...

By: Unknown On 14.25

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